Avoiding Miscommunications Virginia

Saying it all wrong may be effective in advertising and a cornerstone of comedy, but it's anything but right in the workplace.

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Avoiding Miscommunications

A long-running advertising campaign for Sprint cellular service revolves around humorous situations that arise when cellular connections are less than perfect. Miscommunication in the commercials are funny; people end up with things they didn't ask for, find themselves in compromising situations or even discover monsters in the closet. The commercials are memorable and effective. As is Abbot and Costello's comedy classic, Who's on First? which plays off supposed names of players for a baseball team.

Miscommunication may be effective in advertising and a cornerstone of comedy, but it is just the opposite in the workplace. Miscommunications in the workplace occur every day and the results can range from hurt feelings to loss of productivity to every kind of mishap in between. Managers need to be aware of the pitfalls and be aggressive in stamping out their causes.

Two Kinds of Miscommunication
There are two kinds of miscommunication: inadvertent and purposeful. The good news is that both can be avoided; the bad news is that the latter requires more time and commitment on the part of both manager and employee.

Inadvertent miscommunication arises when people are careless. All of us at some point or another fail to express ourselves clearly or do not take the time to listen. Part of this is human nature; the other part is that we are so busy. Managers have a to-do list that is stacked a mile high, and they feel if they say it once, it's good enough. And, often they are too busy to listen to what employees say in response; their minds are already onto the next to-do. The same holds for employees. They often feel they are working on overload. So when a message from the boss comes via telephone, voice mail or e-mail, if it is not marked urgent—or, in the case of voice communications, sound panicky or angry—they ignore it. Why? Because they are too preoccupied to pay much attention. As a result, the message is sent, but not heard.

As Frances Hesselbein, former CEO of the Girl Scouts USA and chairman of the Leader to Leader Institute, says: "Communications is not saying something; it is being heard." An unheard message is a message with no action step. It is akin to a tree falling in the forest—silent and forgotten.

Inadvertent miscommunication can be corrected fairly easily. Typically, it is a matter of the manager communicating more clearly, more frequently and—more importantly—carefully. It is the manager's responsibility to make certain the person has heard the message. Ask people to reply, either in person or via voice or e-mail, to ensure that they heard the message. If the message requires an action step, ask them to tell you how they will carry it out. If the message is a dissemination of important information, an acknowledgement will do.

Solving inadvertent miscommunication requires the willingness of employees to do their part. They must provide the acknowledgement and, if the message is not clear, ask questions to elicit clarity. If the manager is not hearing anything, he might assume all is understood, especially if he is overloaded with work. Employees owe their managers feedback. Inadvertent miscommunications can be resolved with agreement of both parties to speak more clearly and listen more attentively.

Uncovering a Lack of Trust
Addressing purposeful miscommunication is more thorny. The root of miscommunication is not busy-ness; it is distrust. Neither boss nor employee trusts the other party to do what is expected of him. Purposeful miscommunication is deliberate.

People hear what they want to hear. Why? Because it suits their own needs. They do not care about what anyone else thinks, does or says. Purposeful miscommunication arises over perceived slights, lack of respect or the need to exercise power. Typically, such faults in communication fester over time, irritating everyone and raising tension levels to a boil. You hear complaints such as: "She doesn't understand me," "He has it in for me," or "No one knows what we're supposed to do." Over time, the situation becomes intolerable as productivity plummets, morale disappears and people eventually quit.

Building Trust
Purposeful miscommunication is a failure of leadership; managers do not set expectations clearly. Worse, they employ "command-speak," e.g., you will do this, you will do that. That approach might have worked for the Roman emperors, but it does not work in today's contemporary workplace.

Employees likewise must carry their load. They need to speak up when things are not clear and insist that issues and details be made understandable. If the boss becomes upset at such requests, he is a fool and not worth an employee's investment of time and energy. Employees then have a right to appeal to their boss's boss. (Hint: Do this as a group. This avoids the perception that such miscommunication is only one employee's problem.)

Avoiding the Problem Altogether
Here are some things to do to avoid purposeful miscommunication.

Swallow your pride. Most times, purposeful miscommunication results from failure to speak and equally a failure to listen. Neither party is willing to give the other the benefit of the doubt. Both sides play "gotcha," waiting to trip up the other to cause embarrassment or to trump the other person. The simple rule is: Stop it. Immediately! Those behaviors are common in middle school but do not belong in the "adult school" of the workplace. Perhaps one party is more guilty than the other, but you will never bridge the gap unless you are both willing to listen to each other. Native American tribes have a practice of the talking stick. As Stephen Covey tells it, the stick is passed back and forth until both sides find resolution. No resolution can result until both sides admit their faults. That may require a little time, but it certainly requires less time than a stalemate does.

Set clear outcomes. So often miscommunications result because people are not certain what they are supposed to do. Job descriptions may be vague. If that's the case, they must be reinforced with explicit instructions about what is to be done. Not how it is to be done, but what is to be done. For example, if you ask an employee to patch a faulty piece of software code or modify a marketing plan, experienced employees do not have to be walked through the entire process. Providing instructions is micromanagement. At the same time, employees need to know when to ask for help, either in process or in support. And managers have to be willing to listen.

Ask for feedback. How many times have you heard that people do not listen? Everyday, of course. Listening is vital to the communication process. Lack of it is what leads to all kinds of miscommunication. So it is up to the manager and employee to ask for feedback from one another. It is not enough for the feedback to come from one party; both parties have to give and take. And both parties have to listen, patiently.

Meet regularly. Once purposeful miscommunication has occurred, it will not disappear without constant vigilance. Since its root cause is lack of trust, it can only disappear when genuine two-way communications arise to take its place. Again, that requires time and patience, as well as a commitment to keep speaking, listening to and learning from each other. So make it a practice to talk about issues, solicit feedback and listen to each other on a regular basis, not simply in meetings, but one-to-one as well.

Learn to Compromise
Miscommunciation is a serious issue. It can result in failed product launches, crashed IT systems, angry customers and disgruntled employees. The great Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky once wrote, "If people around you will not hear you, fall down before them and beg their forgiveness, for in truth you are to blame." Problems can be fixed, but only with the commitment of both managers and employees. Communication depends upon clarity, but it can only succeed in an atmosphere of trust. And trust is a two-way proposition.

[The author would like to thank Stewart Nelson for his insight and counsel, which helped to shape this article.]

John Baldoni is a leadership communications consultant who works with Fortune 500 companies as well as non-profits including the University of Michigan. He is a frequent keynote and workshop speaker as well as the author of six books on leadership; the latest is How Great Leaders Get Great Results (McGraw-Hill). Readers are welcome to visit his leadership resource website at www.johnbaldoni.com.

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