How to Combine Two Households into One Chesterfield MO

You’re getting married and, immersed in details about dresses, flowers and cakes. With all those decisions, you might not have put much thought into how you’re going to combine two households after the ceremony.

But for many couples, promising to love, honor and cherish is a lot easier than making decisions about yours, mine and ours.

Combining households “can be a very sensitive situation,” says interior designer Judy Alto of Annapolis, Md. “You’ve collected things from your previous lifestyle and you need to figure out how to partner your pieces.”

The question of how to combine households is common. With so many couples getting married later in life, both partners have had plenty of time to establish their own styles and accumulate possessions.

Alto is trained to help couples compromise and combine their tastes so the end result works for both of them.

“If one half of the couple is contemporary and the other half collects antiques, there is a way to combine their tastes. But it’s hard for most people to see,” she says, adding, “They’re still married to their things and they can’t see it any other way.”

Alto recommends both husband and wife start by looking at their pieces and asking themselves why they want to keep each one. Both partners should eliminate some things, but each should get to keep a few things, she says. “They’re never going to feel like it’s their home unless their things are showcased.”

Think about the space you’ll have in your combined home. If it’s significantly more than the spaces you had separately, your decision might be easier. If you need to downsize, eliminate duplicate items first.

With duplicate electronics like televisions, DVD players and stereos, keep the best-quality items and sell the rest.

With furniture, think both comfort and style. If he just can’t part with a ratty old recliner, see if it can fit in a basement rec room. If she insists on keeping a maroon Victorian settee that’s more for show than seating, perhaps it can go in the entryway or in a guest bedroom.

Think about what you really need for your new lifestyle. If there’s no room for something yet you feel you can’t bear to part with it, try to understand why. Is there another way to preserve that special memory, one that won’t take up as much space or bother your spouse?

“Sometimes you have to tell them it’s a waste to hang onto it, to have it sitting there doing nothing,” Alto says. “You ask, ‘Where do you see this piece in your future?’ Sometimes, when you go ahead and utilize it in the space, six months later they’re ready to get rid of it.”

Working with a designer can help take the pressure off the couple by being a neutral third party. A designer works with what people have to make pieces complement one another and sometimes find other pieces to fit, she says.

“The answer isn’t always buying new things,” she says.

You’ll know you’ve succeeded when you stop thinking “yours” or “mine,” and start thinking “ours.”