Las Vegas

Las Vegas. Just those two words can send vacationers into an ecstasy of breathless anticipation and guilty delight. What is it that makes Las Vegas so unique from other vacation spots?

First, Las Vegas is a city that not only prides itself, but also markets itself based on excess. Where else can you tour New York, Paris, and Venice all in the same day? Where else can an ancient pyramid and a medieval castle stand comfortably side by side? In Vegas, night is brighter than day; advertisements for instant riches overcome the senses, and the world truly is your oyster.

Second, Las Vegas hints broadly at the fulfillment of our more hidden, forbidden desires. From the moment tourists hear the city's slogan--"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!” --they are primed to think of fun without the burden of responsibility. Add the gambling, free drinks, and full size billboards featuring scantily clad showgirls, and even the most staid, conservative visitor will have to acknowledge that he or she is a long way away from Kansas.

Finally, Las Vegas is a city that never sleeps, a city whose speed dial is constantly set on a frenetic fast forward. With no clocks or windows in the casino to orient one to time, 3:00 AM feels and looks no different than 3:00 PM. It is not uncommon for red-faced tourists to show up at traveler's aid booths admitting that they have missed their flights by hours, or sometimes even days.

Some people come to love Las Vegas. Others learn to hate it with equal intensity. But everyone agrees: There is no place else in the world exactly like it.

Las Vegas is probably one of the few cities in America where weekend travelers can do very nicely without hotel accommodations. Many intrepid groups of friends fly into Las Vegas after work on Friday, party nonstop in the casinos and nightclubs all weekend, and catch up on sleep during a Sunday flight home.

If you're not that hardy, you're still in luck. Las Vegas offers some of the finest and largest hotels in the world. Where you stay depends very much on your particular preferences. Wherever you decide to stay, make your reservations early to get the best prices. Walking in off the street to rent a room practically guarantees that you'll pay as much as a couple of hundred more dollars than the people that booked their room online a month earlier.

Hotels on the Las Vegas Strip (i.e., Las Vegas Boulevard) can be broken down into several different categories including hotels that make an effort to be kid-friendly, mid-price hotels, and expensive hotels. Some tourists also choose to stay in hotels that are located off the Strip.

On the Strip, the hotels with heavily-themed decors are often the ones designed with families in mind. Examples include the Excalibur with its Fantasy Faire level of games for kids, the Luxor with its atrium level of rides and adventures, and Circus Circus with its theme park.

Mid-price hotels include such offerings as the Monte Carlo, the Stratosphere, MGM Grand, the Flamingo, etc.

Towards the higher, more luxurious end of the pool, consider the Mirage, the Bellagio, the Venetian, or the new Wynn. Prices for these rooms may run $200/night or more, but you'll definitely be able to tell the difference in amenities and customer care.

No matter how nice your hotel may be or how many amenities it may offer, you'll probably be tempted to explore many hotels during your stay in Las Vegas. Who wouldn't be curious about a towering castle or a shimmering "Mirage"? A word to the wise, if you're staying on the strip: Huge billboards and flashing lights tend to make objects appear closer than they are. What looks like an easy two- or three-block trek can easily turn into an arduous two- or three-mile marathon.

Walking is a great way to get around Las Vegas if you're in shape. If you're not, you may need to consider some other alternatives. Taxicabs are easily available at any of the Strip hotels (although they cannot pick up passengers walking along the Strip--it's against the law). Taking a cab has several advantages. It means you will receive door-to-door transportation, usually in air-conditioned bliss. Most cab drivers are also delighted to give you their opinions of the best shows, restaurants, casinos, and accommodations in town. The one drawback is that cabs can drain your wallet more quickly than the most aggressive slot machine.

Las Vegas has a great bus system with bus stops placed conveniently around the Strip. If you do use the bus, be sure to take a few minutes to study the schedule and figure out exactly where you're going. Most bus drivers are not particularly sympathetic or helpful if you do end up lost.

The Strip Trolley runs every fifteen minutes or so and stops at most of the hotels on the strip. At $1.75/person the price is right, but it fills up quickly, especially during times of heavy tourism. Also, the trolley was not built for comfort. Expect to be bounced around--hard.

Finally, the Las Vegas monorail is quick, air conditioned, and stops at several convenient points along the strip. It offers a smooth ride and getting lost is nearly impossible. A single ride is a little pricey at $5.00 per person, but you can buy a three-day pass that offers unlimited rides for $40.00. Your feet will thank you.

Vegas offers a stunning array of shows to suit almost every taste. The biggest player in town right now is Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil shows are playing at no less than five Las Vegas hotels/casinos. Cirque du Soleil typically emphasizes the grace and beauty of all shapes and sizes of the human body. If you go to a Cirque du Soleil production, you can probably expect countless special effects, breathtaking stunts, and displays of strength and flexibility. That said, each show has its own "feel." Mystere, at the TI, for instance, leaves one with a sense of childlike wonder, whereas Zumanity, at New York New York, is a sometimes bawdy, sometimes erotic look at human sexuality.

If you're not a fan of Cirque du Soleil, don't despair--Vegas has many other offerings. Star performers from today, yesterday, and tomorrow often schedule concerts in Las Vegas. In recent times, Vegas has played host to Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Brightman, Celine Dion, and David Spade to name just a few.

If you're in the mood for an old-fashioned Vegas-style review with topless showgirls in stunning costumes, don't despair. Jubilee and Folies Bergere will give you exactly what you're looking for. If you want less glitz and more erotica, consider La Femme or Fantasy. Since women have eyes, too, Vegas also offers Thunder from Down Under featuring scantily clad male dancers.

Other shows worth checking out include the Tournament of Kings (you can safely bring the kids to this one), Blue Man Group (impossible to define, just go see it), Phantom--the Las Vegas spectacular (a must see for fans of Andrew Lloyd Weber's Phantom of the Opera), and An Evening at La Cage (gorgeous female impersonators).

Most people come to Las Vegas wanting to test their luck in the casinos and the casinos are happy to oblige. No matter what your interest or level of tolerance for risk, you'll find a machine or table game that is perfect for you.

Machine games typically include video slot machines and video poker. Slot machines come in thousands of different themes ranging from the traditional fruit symbols to Wheel of Fortune, Men in Black, Phantom of the Opera, and I Love Lucy. You can spend anything from a penny to hundreds of dollars on each pull of the slot machine, but the basic principle is the same. You want to line up a certain pattern of pictures, symbols, etc.

Slot machines allow you no control over the outcome. You push a button (or more rarely, pull a lever), and the resulting symbols are out of your control. Video poker offers players a little more control. A player is dealt five cards, and then chooses which cards to keep and which to discard. The goal is to get the highest possible hand, with a pair of Jacks or better being the minimum required to win and a royal flush being the highest hand possible.

Some casual players are intimidated by the table games, which is a shame because they can be a lot of fun. The most popular table games include blackjack, Pai Gow poker, craps, roulette, etc. Most casinos offer scheduled lessons in table games, but any dealer worth his or her keep will be happy to help teach you the rules of the game and give you tips until you feel comfortable.

Shopping in Las Vegas used to be limited to tasteless souvenirs, soft-core porn, and tips on beating the casinos. You'll still find all these things in abundance, of course, but Vegas has developed more refined tastes, as well, and alongside the souvenir shops, you'll also find some neat designer stores.

If you like the finer things in life, you'll probably be thrilled with the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace. The Forum Shops consist of more than 150 shopping opportunities including Estee Lauder, Opals and Gems of Australia, Abercrombie & Fitch, Louis Vuitton, and many more. If you get hungry, you can stop for a bite at the Cheesecake Factory or Planet Hollywood.

The Desert Passage at the Aladdin (future home of Planet Hollywood) offers a similar shopping experience, except that instead of an ancient Roman theme, the Desert Passage calls to mind the exoticism of the ancient Mediterranean spice routes. Not to be outdone, the Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian offer top-rated designer stores, as well as living statues and gondola rides.

The Fashion Show Mall on the Strip has recently completed an expansion project and now offers 2 million square feet of shopping possibilities. Stores include Saks, Macy's, and Nordstroms, etc., as well as several smaller boutiques.

If you want to shop off the Strip, you can browse through sporting goods and practice rock climbing in the Galleria, enjoy an old-fashioned mall experience at Meadows Mall, and savor the tranquil environment of the intimate MonteLago Village. And if you want an experience that's uniquely Vegas, why not check out Serge's Showgirl Wigs or Strings by Judith, which offers showgirl costumes.

Years ago when the mob ruled and restaurants were deemed a "loss leader," Las Vegas was the home of the $2.99 steak and the $5.00 all-you-can-eat buffet. Those days--like the mob in Vegas--are long gone. But look on the bright side. The food is more expensive, but it is also much better. Some of the greatest chefs in the world have restaurants in Las Vegas including Emeril and Wolfgang Puck (MGM Grand), Thomas Keller (Bouchon at the Venetian), and Jean Georges (Prime at the Bellagio).

Even in a city that prides itself on being different, some unique restaurants deserve recognition. Hugo's Cellar, located at the Four Queens Hotel downtown, greets all female diners with a lovely red rose. The menu offerings consist of classic winners such as succulent crab, veal, lamb, and steak, and the wine selection is amazing.

Another restaurant worth visiting is The Top of the World, located at the top of the Stratosphere on the Las Vegas strip. Enjoy friendly service and a fine meal as the restaurant slowly rotates, giving you a 360-degree look at the most amazing city on earth. For the best effect of Las Vegas in neon, come after night has fallen.

If you're a Star Trek fan, you'll feel right at home at Quark's Bar and Restaurant in the Las Vegas Hilton. The food is standard casual fare, but the décor is definitely worth the price of admission. And, don't forget to have a couple of glasses of the bright-blue Romulan Ale.

Finally, if you're a buffet fan, check out the Spice Market Buffet at the Aladdin. It's a bit pricey compared to other buffets, but you won't find a better selection anywhere.

The Fremont Street Experience is five blocks of hotels, casinos, and souvenir shops located in downtown or "old" Las Vegas. The area is closed to traffic and covered with a huge LED display panel known as "Viva Vision." Different light and music shows are projected onto the panel several times a night.

Some tourists have come to prefer the Fremont Street Experience to the Strip, for several reasons. First, hotel and dining prices tend to be more reasonable downtown.

Second, whereas the Strip is spread out over a four-mile area, the Fremont Street Experience is contained in five blocks. This means shorter walking distances. It also means that expensive transportation such as taxicabs can be disposed of.

Gaming is a little different at the Fremont Street Experience, as well. It's a more relaxed and slightly less formal place to play than the Strip. The dealers tend to be a little less experienced, but they make up for it by being more friendly and helpful. If you're unsure about your skill at some games, downtown is a great place to hone your experience before testing your skills on the Strip.

Another positive is that if you're a casual player, you'll probably like the fact that minimum table limits are lower downtown. For instance, if your game is blackjack, finding a table minimum under $25.00 per hand on the Strip can be a challenge (Hint: Try Circus Circus or the Stratosphere). Many casinos at the Fremont Street Experience, however, routinely offer $5.00 per hand blackjack.

Finally, according to Las Vegas locals, the slot machines downtown are "looser" (i.e., more likely to pay out).

Las Vegas is the place to have the time of your life. What you want is a relaxing vacation that allows you to experience Sin City in a fun, safe way. What you don't want are legal problems, injuries, financial woes, etc.

Remember that Las Vegas is located in a desert. This means hot, dry weather. If you're drinking more alcohol than you're used to and walking between casinos, it's easy to get dehydrated. Solve this problem easily by always carrying a bottle of water with you and making sure you drink from it frequently. Also remember to use plenty of sunscreen if you're going to be outside.

Gambling can be a fun pastime, but for some people it becomes a problem. Stay in control by deciding what you can afford to lose and moving on to another activity when that money is gone. It's nice to have a gambling buddy--you can keep each other in check.

Finally, you've probably heard that prostitution is legal in Nevada. What you may not have heard is that it is not legal in Clark County where Las Vegas is located. If you want to legally hire a prostitute, you'll have to go to one of the legal bordellos located several miles outside of Las Vegas. And, although prostitutes are required to undergo routine medical checkups, use protection anyway.

Las Vegas is a whirling playground of spicy fun and forbidden treats. May your trip bring you only fun and joy!