Teenage Adoption Cary NC

"You adopted a teenager? Are you nuts?" I have been asked that question many times. What would they say if they only knew we have adopted more than 2?

Teenagers get a bad rap. They get categorized. They get treated like thieves and liars. But the truth is, not all teens are bad. Not all teens are rebellious, angry, lazy and shifty. In fact, most of the teens you will find in today's foster care system WANT a home. They want a family, and dinner at 6 p.m., a part-time job, trips to the mall with a mom, and fishing trips with a dad. They want to be part of a real family with chores, and homework, and Christmas dinner.

Don't get me wrong. Adopting a teen is not all roses and rainbows. There will be issues. There will be times when your teen is screaming at you. There will be times when you want to scream back. There will be issues with curfews and clothing. There will be problems with back talking and cleaning their rooms. In many ways an adopted teen will be just like any other normal teen.

But of course adopted teens can have issues in addition to those of a typical teenager due to their experiences growing up. But with a little help, they will be right as rain, ready to face the world as competent, accomplished young adults. Here are some issues that might come up with your adopted teenager and how to deal with them. Of course, these suggestions must be used in conjunction with counseling and may not work with every teenager.

1. Abandonment. Adopted teens feel like everyone is going to leave them, so they keep you at arm's length. We know of a teen whose mother worked on and off with the social services, trying to keep her son. She tried rehab, church, everything. But in the end, she woke up one morning, packed a suitcase of his clothing, drove to the DHS office (Department of Human Services), stood in line for the reception window and waited. When her turn at the window came, she simply said, "I don't want this kid anymore," set down his suitcase and left. He was 13. That kind of abandonment stays with children for a very long time. How do you deal with that? This one is easy--don't leave them. Be where you say you are going to be. Pick them up when you are supposed to. Have dinner ready on time. Do what you are supposed to do. Keep your promises. No matter what. ...

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Author: Kristean Thompson