Tough Love Parenting Cary NC

Tough Love was coined the 1980s by a couple in the Philadelphia area after dealing with their teenage daughter. Phyllis and David York founded the Toughlove Network and the term "tough love" began to be used.

Tough love is a strategy developed for parents of out-of-control teenagers. But it's hard to know what the symptoms of out-of-control teenage behavior are, since it varies depending on the teenager and their parents. For some teenagers, mouthing off and spending their time in their bedrooms or out of the house are as bad as their parents see. Other parents know their teenager's behavior has changed, but refuse to consider that their child is using drugs or alcohol. Some signs of a troubled teen include secrecy, grade dropping, out-of-proportion emotional outbursts or a sudden change in friends and interests.

In most definitions of tough love parenting, parents take a stand against their children. They stop covering for their behavior and let their child accept the consequences. Sometimes these consequences are minor-detention for skipping a class for example. Other times, the consequences are more severe and may involve the authorities. Often tough love refers to sending your child to a drug/alcohol treatment program or enrolling them in a military-like school or a wilderness training program. If you feel your child would benefit from one of these programs, speak to your child's school counselor or pediatrician for recommendations. Some of these programs can be a little extreme, so make sure you've done your research before sending your child to one of these programs. Sometimes the term tough love parenting is affiliated with some Christian religious philosophies.

The following are some ways to learn about tough love parenting.

1. Check out the Toughlove program (see link). This program offers tough love teachings through meetings. The meetings will help you meet other parents going through what you're going through, give you tips to create boundaries with your child, create expectations, and help you communicate better with your children. The meetings work to fix the problem, not to assign blame or talk about what has happened in the past. This program is not affiliated with religious or boot camp types of programs. In fact, they are opposed to boot camp programs.
   
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Author: Theresa Halvorsen