Transitioning Into a Step Parent Role Hawaii

1. Go slowly. Changes are hard for everyone, and children, especially, may have a difficult time in the beginning. You can expect some initial resentment and objections to your role in their lives. It is not uncommon for children to hold on to the hope that their parents will be getting back together--your presence, in the eyes of the children, is evidence that their parents have moved on.
   
   
2. Enlist the help of your spouse. It is absolutely vital that you and your spouse present a united front with the children. In the beginning, they will respond better to advice and direction from the parent that they are already comfortable with. With time, and with the support of your spouse, the children will come to accept your authority as well.
   
   
3. Changes in rules are inevitable, but be sure to implement any changes gradually, especially if the rules will be stricter than the children are accustomed to. You cannot come into their lives, take away freedoms that they have come to expect, and assume that they'll be happy about it. If both you and your spouse are bringing children into the marriage, it is important that the same house rules apply to everyone. This will likely mean that that all of the children will experience some changes in rules, but in time, it is reasonable to expect that everyone will come to accept the new guidelines. Discuss discipline, curfews, chore expectations and other issues pertaining to the children with your spouse. Together, decide on rules that you will both agree to implement and enforce. Talk about consequences for disobedience. Once you have worked out the details, gather the children and discuss the rules with them.
   
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Author: Elizabeth Grace