Many parents get very anxious at the thought of their teenager driving. And they should be!
We understand that this is really the first time that our teens have the opportunity to put themselves and others at risk. It also offers an easy avenue for exploring experiences that we have been able to monitor to some degree in the past.
Thus, there are risks and the need to ensure a high level of responsibility when getting behind the wheel of a car. So it’s important for parents to decide if their teenager is ready for the road. It’s not about being old enough legally. It’s about whether your teenager develops the skills necessary to drive safely, and whether you can trust your teenager to use good judgment when they take their life and the life of others in their hands.
1. Integrity First: When trying to determine whether your teenager is ready to get a driver’s license, consider whether they show integrity in their relationship with you.
Do they honor their word to you? Can you be certain that they are truthful and honest, or do they try to deceive you?
When they inform you of where they will go, and who will be in the car, can you trust that? Do they generally use good judgment when you are not around? If so, great, if not, this is the first place to pause. Integrity is hard to teach, if your teenager doesn’t have this by now!
2. Responsibility Second: How do they handle other responsibilities? Teens often want the benefits of hard work and responsibility without putting forth any of the effort to actually do the work and be responsible.
So, ask yourself, do they complete their homework and hand it in on time? Do they do their household chores without prompting? Do they help out when you need a hand around the house, and take some independent initiative to do their work?
If so, you are likely in good shape and can feel comfortable about their time behind the wheel when you are not around.
3. Basic Skills Next: If your teenager demonstrates they are responsible and trustworthy, the next step is to enroll them in a driver’s education course. If there is a cost associated with the course, make certain that your teen contributes to the cost of the course. In many circumstances, these costs are minimal. Yet, when teenagers understand that they must successfully complete a driver’s education course, and pay for part of it, they are more inclined to take the course seriously and do well in it.
Let’s be clear however. This is really like driving 101. It’s a very basic level of skill development and more is needed.
4. Practice Makes Perfect! Once your teenager has successfully completed a driver’s education course, they are ready to apply for a learner’s permit. However, they are not ready to drive independently. There are many different road conditions and other variables that can affect your teenager’s ability to drive safely and confidently. That’s why it’s important for teenagers to practice driving throughout the four seasons or for one year. During this year, your teenager will be able to increase their driving skills, improve reflexes and become more confident behind the wheel.
5. Check. Check. Check. Throughout the year, be vigilant for skill development. Notice how they handle various conditions and be very gentle in reminding them of basic safe habits. Teach them how to handle snow, wet roads, others in the car, etc.
6. Almost There: If you are pleased with your teenager’s driving progress over the course of a year, and they have maintained good grades, a positive attitude and continued to display good judgment, then allow your son or daughter to take the road test and get a driver’s license. However, just because your teenager has a driver’s license, does not mean they should have immediate access to the car keys at all times. Teenagers need to practice driving alone in the car before they can have friends join them. After about twenty solo drives, only allow your teenager to drive with a couple friends so they don’t get overwhelmed and distracted while driving.
Driving is a privilege, not a right, so make sure your teenager is ready for the responsibility before handing them the keys to the car. Most are ready for this, and some are not. Be willing to say no, if there are other fundamental responsibilities that get ignored.
Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His Web site,
www.TerrificParenting.com,, offers free parenting guidance and an e-mail newsletter.